We didn’t sail smoothly along the ocean current
No one ever does
But when the people you love most leave you it is difficult to see anything but the love
We didn’t fly over adversity on a plane in the sky
No one ever should
But when you realise it’s all over you only want to see the good
She got sick because she chose not to prioritise herself
She got sick because she neglected an unknown heaven over a comfortable hell
She poured from an empty cup into those whose cups were full
She poured her good into things that weren’t that good at all
The love she gave so effortlessly forgave the choices she wouldn’t make
For the things she knew she needed to but would never choose to change
The way she loved her children with every fibre of her being
Was never lessened or diminished, her legacy rich with giving
But
I am not clouded by delusion
I am not convinced there wasn’t another path or two she could have chosen
I think it happened
So that we could see
What happens when you don’t prioritise yourself and admit the things that you need
What happens
When you let life silence the voice inside your mind
When you let others make decisions that you should decide
When you let life happen to you
When you admit defeat
When you let the heaviness of things engulf you completely
We are not clouded by delusion
Nor do we forget how good her good is
We just take the consequences of her decisions and choose different
So we don’t pour from a cup that is empty
Into the glass of someone who has plenty
We will not wait for someone else to hand us the key
To live the life we desire
As the people we know we were intended to be
We aren’t waiting for anyone to come and save us
And in the lessons that she left behind
I trust
That no one lives a life without imperfections or mistakes
But that we all have a choice to choose again every day
